Sunday, March 29, 2009

Eternity

The only things we have to cling to are our own insecurities, ineptitudes, self doubts, and personal lackings. Hold on dearly. Life depends on this.


Now Playing:
Mount Eerie's "Dawn"
Black Heart Procession's "2"

Friendships?

I will not say that my friends are the best a person could have. And you certainly can not assert that about your friends either. Those contentions and those claims are just riddled with so much circumstantial and situational back stock. I can say, though, that I do have some of the best friends possible for myself in my current situation and with my current mindset. They ruin me regularly and they disappoint me often, but I feel one hundred percent comfortable letting them know when they do this. And I find that to be one of the few truly important aspects.

I personally struggle through every second of every day. "Take it one day at a time," they say. But I will do you one better. One meager hour of joy in any given day can make the world a joyous place for me. I truly take it one hour at a time. As I struggle, though, through every second of every day, these people who I could claim are the best friends ever, give me momentary, and not so momentary, lapses of solitude every single day. And I think that is something that keeps me sane. Or, at the very least, it keeps me breathing in this crazy world. After all, we as a race of human beings are just a fluke of nature. Our higher sense of thought and comprehension was not given to us for any higher reason, but we must cope with it nonetheless. A blessing and a curse.

We can see and believe and hope. We are one meager mental step above mere animals. Like I said, a blessing and a curse. Because for every moment that we are wallowing in grief and selfish mutilation of the mind, we have an equal capacity to do and believe in goodness and solitude. This is what gets me through the days. I swear I have nothing substantial to offer this world, but if I can aid someone to make it through one shitty day, such as all the ones I have experienced, then I can sleep a little easier at night; one hour at a time.

When it comes down tot he basics, friends are a necessary evil. These are individuals in which we learn every fatal flaw. We are but animals though. And, with this, we are imperfect. But the thing that sets us apart is that with every flaw we recognize in each other, we have the capacity to embrace an equal amount of good in one another.

Therefore, while I may not have the best friends any given individual can have, I do have the best friends I could have considering all my current standings and situations. For what is true, is that I have surrounded myself with the very few people whose flaws I can tolerate. Because for every time I feel so betrayed by their misleadings, I fill that void with hope for their redemption.

Great friends do not exist. This is a fact. Learn this quickly. You will be destroyed by these people you call friends, and they will betray you and disrupt your peace of mind. Forgivable relationships, though, can and should abound. For, with peace of mind comes the ability to forgive the people that surround you for their misgivings. After all, I'm sure that YOU WOULD WANT THE SAME DONE FOR YOU.


Now Playing:
Further Seems Forever's "The Moon Is Down"
Blacklisted's "Heavier Than Heaven, Lonelier Than God"
Bill Callahan's "Woke On A Whaleheart"
Converge's "Caring And Killing"
Ben Trickey's "Pretty Little Wave"
Third Eye Blind's "Third Eye Blind"

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Hopeless, Hope-ness

As far as it is all concerned, I believe that we all are useless and without worth. We all deserve to be stripped of our commodities, our vices, our allowances; we are to be made whole again. By means of absolute apathy, we will give up all we hold dear, first and foremost life and freedom itself. Accept defeat, expect defeat. The future is a dark and looming place, and the only gleaming light is the hope for betterment and refinement. All things considered, we deserve what comes to us - if not worse. Give up now.